The Food Life

I find that a lot of my posts are about food. Not surprising, really. I think a lot of people who are obsessed with food are either underweight or overweight. I am successfully losing some of the weight that not only hurts my body but also hurts my mind. When Kate Moss said, "Nothing tastes as good as being skinny" (or something like that) she was right. Anyone who has ever lost weight knows how it feels when you eat something rich, fatty, and tasty: you feel good while you're eating but awful afterwards. You tell yourself that you won't eat like that again. You promise yourself an extra workout. You take what should be a satisfying, delicious, filling thing like eating a bowl of ice cream (not even the huge bowls I used to eat) and turn it into a guilt trip. Why?

I love the fact that I'm losing weight. I've lost a lot of weight, really, but I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I still see the fat and the cellulite. Heck, I don't even overeat very often anymore, but I feel guilty all the time, even right this minute knowing that I ate a big bowl of pasta with sausage on it. I feel bad because I ate sausage. What the hell is wrong with me??

I know I have some issues to work through. I KNOW I have been working hard and making great changes in my eating habits. So, why don't I feel GOOD yet? I need to find the piece that's missing.

Continuing with my food obsession, I must share with you what the children ate for lunch. Corn dog nuggets (Michael Pollan would not be proud), 4 cans of pears, blueberries and raspberries. And a whole bag of freeze-dried cherries. I guess they were hungry. At least I can feel good about recycling all the trash created during lunch. . .