It Gets Better??

I'm sure most of you have heard of the nationwide anti-bullying campaign called It Gets Better. It's focus is primarily on the bullying of gay/lesbian/bisexual/transgendered youth, but it's message isn't only important in the GLBT community. I just this morning read another report of a teenager who killed himself after relentless bullying by his peers because of his sexual orientation. This boy had sought counseling, and his parents spoke with school administrators about the problem. Nevertheless, the boy saw no light at the end of the tunnel. Can you blame him?

As much faith as I'd like to have in my fellow humans, my ability to find humanity is dwindling. Life in my little bubble of friends and family is really great. I'm sheltered from many of the world's troubles simply because of the people I choose to surround myself with and the people I've chosen to avoid. I can create my own little world, really. However, every time I think that maybe other people could be as content as I am, I read something like this. (Side note: maybe I should give up reading the news and watching tv). Unfortunately, bullying is an ages old problem, but I think America's current social and political climate is unbelievably dispassionate and actually makes bullying seem like the American way.

While so many of our nation's leaders are telling us that America stands strong because we have the freedom to make our own choices and choose our own destinies, our nation's people sink deeper into depression. It isn't just financial depression; it's mental and physical and spiritual. We look to our peers to hold us up, to support us, to encourage us, to love us. We expect our national leaders to exalt our people and promote our well being. Instead, our leaders point fingers at the less fortunate. It's okay to pick on people who don't have the political power to fight back. Isn't that what bullies do?

The only way to stop bullying is to stop the bullies. No matter what we do to intervene in our children's lives, no matter what kind of counseling they get, no matter how many times we tell them that we love them and that nothing is worth killing yourself or someone else - it isn't enough. It really and truly does take a village to raise a child because all the other people in your village influence your children in ways you might not even recognize. But what happens when your village is filled with insecurity and hate and fear and poverty?? Where do we find the compassion and love and humanity?

I really don't know the answer, and I wish I did. What I do know is that by modeling to your own children and your own family the qualities you admire and seek out, all those characteristics will blossom in your loved ones. I do know that the old saying that you make more friends with honey than with vinegar rings true. Know that it's okay, more than okay, to stand up to bullies (and you know that even as grown ups we see bullies all the time). If that means writing letters to Senators (which I've done with about 10% positive response), if that means voting, if that means voicing an opinion that you know is unpopular (says Little Miss Pro Choice, Gay-Loving, Feminazi Nebraskan), if that means writing a letter to the editor, if that means you piss off some people that you really thought you got along with - do it!

It's a great way for you to figure out who the idiots in your village are.