Rising Every Time We Fall

I had a really challenging yoga practice today. Granted, when one attends classes called "Power Yoga" and "Yoga Sculpt" one expects to be challenged. Today was different. It was the first time in a long time that I really couldn't do something; I just couldn't lift myself.

At the end of the asana, we settled into child's pose to steady our breath and take a break. I don't know if it was just a case of the Mondays or what, but I honestly felt like crying. I felt defeated; I felt like I had let myself down. My go-to book on yoga wisdom goes on and on about how the mind and body are connected, and that if we can steady our minds we can steady our bodies (mind over matter, right?). Today was the first time I really and truly felt disappointed in my mind about something I couldn't do with my body. As the class continued, we practiced a very challenging series of leg-strengthening asanas. My legs and arms quivered (which I'm told is my muscles getting stronger...), but it wasn't just my muscles shaking. I also felt mentally shaky and still unsure of myself.

At the end of class as I cleaned off my yoga mat, my head was still spinning. My disappointment was still raw. My instructor was busy with another student after class, so I never got a chance to express my feelings to her and seek her always kind encouragement. I always have some kind of mantra running through my mind during class to help me through tough poses, but I was so totally thrown off guard that I couldn't even think of one helpful mantra to bring me back to center.

So, this afternoon after I cleaned the carpet and folded the laundry and chastised myself for letting Soren watch tv all day, I opened my trusty book of yoga wisdom to a chapter on enhancing resilience. I found a quote from Confucius that I think will make a great mantra for the next time I feel overcome by a challenge:

Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.