I Knew This Day Would Come

Yesterday afternoon a police officer was in our driveway talking to Brody and his friend. It was the moment I always knew would come. What did Brody do? Whose window did he break or whose child did he assault? Turns out that the cop was there for Colby.

You see, Colby, Soren, Brody and Caeden were in the driveway playing with the foam swords made of electrical tape wrapped around one of those pool Funnoodles. They were Jedi warriors beating up on each other. Apparently, someone driving by or one of the neighbors didn't think Colby should be playing Jedis with the kids and called the cops on us for abuse. Yes, the cop came to investigate an abuse call because a dad was playing with his kids, ladies and gentlemen. To be honest, Soren was crying because she had gotten hit in the face by Brody's "lightsaber," and Colby whacked Brody with a "lightsaber" as, um punishment (?). I'm pretty sure you could whack somebody with all your might with one of those noodles and all would be well. The officer was quite candid: he really didn't want to be here, but because there is a child involved he had to come. He continued with a quick, "People need to mind their own business sometimes," and a "Hey boys, you wanna turn on the lights in my police car?" The officer was really nice and left without even a scolding. At least the boys got to push buttons in the police car, and no one will have a criminal record (yet).

I'll consider yesterday preparation for when the cops really do come knocking for good reason. The officer had to file a report (I'm sure he loves paperwork), but it will be noted as "unfounded." This time, anyway. The lesson here: it really is true that you can't do anything anymore without someone calling the cops. Don't spank your kid in public. For god's sake, don't play Jedi with your kids in the front yard.