Just Another Manic Monday

Today started off so well.

But thanks to the freezing rain, I was unable to take Evelyn to her dentist appointment. Frankly, I was just happy to get the kids to school. The roads are atrocious as freezing rain/snow continue.

So, I guess I'm not bowling tonight, either. That makes me sad, sad, sad.

Colby's still sore from his procedure, and I am seriously tired of waiting on him hand and foot while still continuing to do all the other family chores. All of them. I now know for sure that I couldn't handle five kids after being Colby's "mom" since Thursday.

On the bright side, Colby spent his afternoon with an ice pack and a pile of popcorn box-shaped valentines to cut out. More on that as Valentine's Day approaches. I made banana bread and pureed some veggies. Our good friend who is headed to Puerto Rico this week went out in this mess to buy a swimming suit. As such, her 5-year-old son is here keeping Soren occupied.

And we are finishing up watching the fourth season of 30 Rock on Netflix. I guess sore balls are good for something.

House of Pain

My pain story:

On Tuesday I decided it would be a great idea to attend both a yoga class and a Zumba class. Today is Friday, and my thighs still are not functioning properly. My thighs are on freaking fire every time I try to squat to any degree. But here's the kicker: I'll probably do the same thing every Tuesday because I'm an idiot. I even bought a yoga mat.

Colby's pain story:

Yesterday Colby had a vasectomy. I have never wanted anything more than I want to take a photo of him sitting in the chair with a bag of frozen peas on his crotch. However, I value my safety, so I won't. I felt the faintest bit of sorry for him until I remembered the combined hours of labor I was in with our 4 children.

They say whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

Yoga: Day 1

Today I attended my very first basic yoga class. My legs still hurt.

I'm not sure there will be a Yoga: Day 2.

Not the Biggest Loser but Maybe the Most Motivated

One of our family doctor's clinics is having a Biggest Loser style competition. You set a goal to lose weight, and judging by the percent of body fat lost the winner receives an iPad. Sweet.

Now, I don't actually have that much weight to lose as far as I'm concerned. I made Colby join the challenge, too, in the hopes that it will motivate us both to maintain our gym attendance and maybe improve our eating habits. I'm pretty sure if I just cut crap food out of my diet I could lose 10 pounds. Just because Terra chips are made of root vegetables doesn't mean they're healthy. When I set out on my quest to lose weight last year, I adhered to a strict (but not restrictive) diet. Once I got down to a size 12 I started eating whatever I wanted again, and I just made a couple of extra trips to the gym to compensate.

So, starting Thursday I will be back on the diet with my eyes on a new iPad. I'm pretty sure if I could lose just 15 pounds I could win because that's 10% of my body weight. Colby could care less about being in the contest, and he honestly doesn't think he needs to lose any weight. While I appreciate and envy his self confidence, the truth is, Babe, you could shed a few pounds around the middle.

Let the games begin.

The Times Are Changing

Although I'm just over 30, my life has been filled with a whole lifetime worth of stuff: college, marriage, unemployment, moving, and of course babies, babues, babies. Colby and I have done lots of things in our 20s that modern folks don't start until their 30s. What started as a high school romance is now a house full of kids headed by a successful (the youngest in Farmland Foods and working the most successful plant in the company, ahem) Human Resourses Manager and a Feminist turned soccer mom. For the past 8 years our home has been filled with the pitter patter of little feet. I spent the better part of my 20s nursing babies, birthing babies, and wiping asses. That, my friends, is about to change.

On Thursday my hubby is getting a vasectomy. The Vescapades baby factory is closing, not a victim to troubled economic times, but because this Mama enjoys her life of leisure

At first I thought a vasectomy was too permanent, taking it too far. I mean, we are only in our early 30s, and we have a lot of time left on our biological clocks. That all changed after being around all my mom friends with little babies. Seriously people, did you ever realize how much freakin' work babies are?? How in the hell did I survive having little children, especially with my husband gone for months at a time?? I don't know.

I do know this: my life is, frankly, fucking awesome, and a baby would really cramp my style. It may sound selfish, but for the first time in 10 years I think I totally deverve a little selfishness.

This Week in Pissed Off

Recently, there was a shooting at an Omaha high school. One administrator was killed, one was injured, and the shooter committed suicide in his car. In response, Sen. Mark Christensen introduced legislation in the Unicameral that would allow teachers, administrators, and security to carry concealed weapons on school grounds. That's right, teachers...with guns...concealed...in school. Seriously.

I understand being afraid. I understand wanting to protect one's children. However, I will never understand why the hell Sen. Christensen would feel the need to put our students in even more danger by allowing guns in our schools. From what I've seen on the news and read on the Internet, Superintendents are not happy.

Problem #1: Many school shooters are suicidal. Knowing that someone will shoot them is not a dterrent.

Problem #2: I'm sure there is more than one teacher out there who is stressed out by the amount of work they have to do, the rotten kids they have to deal with, and the meager paycheck they receive for their efforts. Imagine a totally legal handgun in the hand of a teacher at the breaking point. It's a recipe for disaster.

Problem #3: The legislature is not the place for social intervention in this case. The hardships faced by children who decide to shoot up their schools are often hidden. The place for intervention is at the family level. Hell, the boy who shot the Omaha administrators was the child of a police detective and a student who was well-liked. His pain was hidden behind a seemingly happy life. There is nothing the legislature can do to fix this problem. They should stay out of it.

Let's hope the legislature doesn't pass this bill. In fact, I'd like to go a step further and hope that the whole of legislature makes a point to discourage this bill and bills like it from ever coming up again.

Puree

This week was puree week. I have a habit of sneaking vegetable puree into lots and lots of things: tacos, spaghetti sauce, meatballs, mashed potatoes, macaroni and cheese, chicken strips, and lots of other stuff.

Here are all my my pretty purees ready to sit outside on the deck to freeze. Hey, winter is good for something. I mashed broccoli, carrots, butternut squash, sweet potatoes, and cauliflower. Thank goodness for my food processor.


All the rock solid purees ready to go into the freezer. That should last me a month, I hope. It's like a bouquet of puree. Yep, I speak French, too.

Happy 8th Birthday, Brody!

For the first time ever, we had a sleepover birthday party at our house. Brody picked three boys to stay, but I made sure to direct him toward boys whose parents we know really well.

We did all the things that make sleepovers fun, like...

...open presents.


...eat tons of pizza at the buffet.




...share a birthday toast.


...wrestle, fight, and play all sorts of war/spy games.



...eat ice cream cake.


...play video games.


...and stay up late only to wake up early the next day.

The Annual Hair Cut

It was time again for Brody's yearly hair cut. He gets his hair trimmed throughout the year, of course, but every year right around his birthday he gets his head shaved.

Before:



And After:

Evelyn Crocker

Evelyn decided to buy a cupcake decorating set with her Chirstmas money from Great Grandma Karen. She is forever hanging around in the kitchen with me, so I guess it is a pretty logical choice for her.



She was so excited to get to baking. I was feeling a bit frazzled, so there was a little yelling after a baking powder spill. Evelyn recovered quickly and got right back to the business of cupcakes.



The cupcakes baked up perfectly in her little pan. I was really impressed.



The best part of the set is, of course, the decorator and all the different little tips. We started off simple, but I'm hoping she'll soon be making rosettes and leaves and such.



Evelyn was so excited to share her cupcakes with the family. They were delicious. Thanks, Pea Pod.

Snow Day

School was cancelled today. Whatever shall we do to amuse ourselves?

Maybe balance a spoon on our nose...


Of course, we'll play in the snow!


We'll make a pile of paper airplanes.


We'll see if Tiger likes the snow...He doesn't.


Mom will warm up with her favorite spicy snack.


Mom will make us "lazy" pretzels in almond bark.


We'll make and eat some biscuits and gravy.


And just maybe we'll hibernate a bit.

Westboro Baptist Church and Why God Hates Them

Caution: lots of swearing. I mean lots.

Godhatesfags.com. My blood is boiling just typing it. Go to this website and you will see a photo of a little child all bundled up in the cold in Lincoln, NE, holding a sign that says, "You are Going to Hell." I'm warning you, though, that viewing the website is kind of like staring at a horrible wreck: it's so bad, but you just can't look away. You might know the Westboro Baptist Church gang better from their protesting of military funerals holding signs that say "God Hates Fags!" The picketing of the funerals of fallen soldiers is apparently done to bring light to the "fact" that God is spiting our military because Americans don't stone gays to death. I really don't know. Whatever the reason for such vile words, I can understand that picketing at a military funeral can send a message that one's group dislikes what the government is doing. I get that.

However, the Westboro group is ready to protest not only the funeral of the assistant principal gunned down at her Omaha school this week (apparently because Omaha has fallen into the hands of Satan), but they will also be picketing the funerals of those gunned down in Arizona yesterday.

Including the funeral of a 9-year-old murder victim.

I support our Constitutional right to say stupid shit. In fact, I am taking full advantage of said right at this very moment. I support your right to hold a sign that says God Hates Fags. I respect one's right to form a "religion" based on one's belief that fucking someone in the ass is enough to burn in hell for all eternity. But I can tell you this: if one of these "Christians" showed up at my child's funeral spewing their hateful bullshit, it would take a lot more than Satan himself to keep me from finding out if Nebraska would electrocute a mom of 4 for the murder of a group of fucking idiots. Seriously.

It seems to me that the Westboro Baptist Church is really a church of gun-violence advocates. Not only that, but I find it indefensible to use religion to oppress anyone or to use it as an excuse to hurt/kill people. The name and will of God have been used throughout history to justify so much cruelty, oppression, and murder. It's quite sad that despite Christianity's teachings of love, forgiveness, brotherhood, and kindness, there are still fucking idiots out there shamefully using God as a weapon.

For that reason alone, I'm pretty sure God hates Westboro Baptist Church.

I'm proud to be a "fag-enabling" American raising 4 little "fag-enablers." Dang, I think I need to turn that into a bumper sticker.

Lunch with the Kindergarten

Soren and I spent his morning and afternoon having lunch, recess, and lots of fun with Evelyn's kindergarten class. Here's are a few things I learned today:

#1: Kids love it when someone comes to visit their classroom. A few of them even unzipped their already zipped coats so that I could help them zip their coats. They all wanted to talk to me. I felt like the queen of the class.

#2: I could never be a kindergarten teacher. Mrs. K. said all things I say to my kids like, "It's your job to _____ right now. Do you think you can do that?" Only here's the thing, she has to say it 20 freakin' times. I admire her ability to keep everything under control because I would've walked out at least twice. I think her secret is to "punish" bad behavior right away instead of giving a bunch of warnings. Those kids know she means business.

#3: Not only is Evelyn very smart, but Soren is also really bright. She loved participating in the activities, and she could hold her own counting and identifying number with kids twice her age. I suppose I'll have to learn some of those little rhymes Mrs. K. uses to spell words. Soren loved the little chants and dances. I think a few of them may have helped me get through college.

#4: School lunch sucks. Evelyn and Soren wouldn't touch the fruit or carrots (both out of a can), things they normally eat like crazy at home. Well, fresh ones anyway. No wonder Evelyn wants sack lunches every day. I didn't mind eating a little canned fruit cocktail. Kind reminded me of my childhood.

#5: Sorry, but some of the sack lunches looked worse than the school lunches. I saw a kid with a Big Grab bag of Cheetos, a Hi-C "juice" box, and "cheese" and crackers. Really, couldn't the parents at least pack real cheese and not cheese product? I have to add that this child's parent is actually a teacher at the school. I expected a little more, I guess.

Evelyn wants us to come back every Friday. Mrs. K. probably wouldn't mind the help.

First Healthy Body Update of 2011

Now that the hustle and bustle of the holiday season is over, the Vescapades family is back to our normal routine. I'm already back in the gym. Soren and I went to story time today. Soren had egg in a basket for lunch; I had nachos. We are, indeed, back to our predictable pattern.

Speaking of the gym, I'm having a little trouble setting my fitness goals for this year. Last year I wanted to join a gym, workout, lose weight, and clean our cupboards of boxed meals. I did all of those things, and by the grace of god I continue to make all of those things part of the Vescapades routine.

Here's the rub for me this year: I'd like to lose maybe 10 or 15 more pounds, but I absolutely cannot afford to buy a new wardrobe again. Last year I went from a size 16/18 to a size 12, and now my size 12 pants are getting just a little bit loose (not enough to be baggy, but loose). I got rid of all the "fat" pants and capris and bought all new, including my first pair of skinny jeans. I even got to buy new underwear and bras. I just can't imagine having to purchase new clothes again no matter how good it makes me feel.

To this end, I haven't really been watching my calorie intake too closely. I workout 4 or 5 times a week and still make most foods from scratch. My rule is that if I CAN make it from scratch I SHOULD make it from scratch. But I also don't deny myself that extra helping at supper or ice cream like I did when I first set out to lose weight. I still, in fact, eat way too much. I eat nachos (with homemade salsa - my new fave) pretty much every day for lunch while Soren eats her daily egg in a basket. I just discovered that Trader Joe's has awesome organic corn chips, even better than my beloved Target organic corn chips. But I digress...

I'm not yet sure what weight goal to set. I know that I want to continue to keep exercise and healthier eating as part of the Vescapades routine. I want to keep off all the weight I've lost because there is no way in hell I'm buying new fat pants. I also want to learn to make yeast bread so I can add homemade bread to my list of stuff I don't buy premade anymore.

Here's to another year of a healthy body.

Filled Cupcakes

My good friend and bowling teammate celebrated her birthday yesterday. She told me she wanted cake: white cake and white frosting. Seizing the opportunity to buy a contraption to both decorate and fill cupcakes, I happily obliged.

I scoured my usual recipe websites for a white cake that wouldn't crumble when filled. Then, of course, I had to find a filling recipe and a white frosting recipe. I've made lots of types of frosting before (ganache, buttercream, cream cheese, etc.) but never just white. Let's just say I'm pretty sure a fair amount of shortening and powdered sugar will be ingested by whomever eats the lovely, filled cupcakes.

Soren was a big "help" mixing the cake batter and getting it into the muffin tin. Yes, she always wears a summer dress in January. She marches to her own beat (or at least that's what I keep telling myself). I left her alone with a stick of butter to go grab my camera, and I'm pretty sure she, um, performed a little quality control tasting of said butter.








Here are the cupcakes all filled with sugary goodness.


And here they are all ready to be delivered to my friend tonight at bowling.

Cricut Creations

The girls and I continue to enjoy using "our" Cricut machine to make cute things for our friends and family. Check out the cute birthday party invitations I made for Brody's upcoming slumber party:




And here's a birthday card I made for my friend:



Tomorrow I will be making filled cupcakes for said friend's birthday. You could say I'm turning into Martha Stewart minus the millions and the felony conviction.

Happy New Year!

For the first time since 1997 became 1998, Colby and I went out alone for New Year's Eve. Our tradition had always been to spend the ebening with friends and family usiually at our home. This year, however, we put our party shoes on and headed out for an evening with friends.

I bought and wore my first pair of skinny jeans. Colby donned his signature sweater vest, and we hit the road. My dad and stepmom were nice enough to take the little Vescapades kiddos for the weekend. You see, not only did we have plans for NYE, but we also had plans for the 1st to celebrate my friend's birthday out on the town. We are officially parents who have a social life beyond our children. That's surely something to celebrate in 2011.

So, here is a brief summary of our grown-up holiday festivities: bolwing, drinking, eating, sleeping, drinking, drunk bowling. How much freakin' fun is that!!

I only took a few photos because I don't like to drag my ginormous camera everywhere. So, here's what I got. Mostly me. Which is fine. And I mean fiiiiinne. I look forward to being the hottest mama around in 2011. :-)